The Trinity, Mystery, and Beautiful Questions

Reflections on John 3:1-17

I am moving away from my usual style to post this reflection on John 3:1-17. I was invited to preach at our small faith community on Trinity Sunday. Here is what I shared at St. James Episcopal Church in Guatemala City.

On another note, the picture for today’s post is a STEAM project my oldest daughter put together last week. The teachers told her to make anything she wanted, to be creative. For some reason, she thought of God’s death. The writing reads: “This is God. He is dead.” I have either succeeded as a father who happens to be a theologian, or miserably failed. A wise friend told me that she may be at a better theological starting point than I have ever been.

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A Reflection on John 3:1-17

Father Ramón tricked me well when he invited me to share a sermon with our faith community for Trinity Sunday. He first asked me: “are you planning to be in church in two weeks?” to what I responded, “yes, of course!” Then, he proceed to ask if I was willing to preach, and I said yes. Then he said: “thank you so much, nobody really likes preaching on Trinity Sunday, it is hard to share a sermon about the Trinity.” Then, I thought to myself, “well thought, Ramón, good move.” I fell for father Ramón’s trick as an Episcopalian rookie who is not always fully aware of the liturgical calendar.

So, here I am, trying to scramble some thoughts about the Gospel reading, the Trinity, and the mystery of our faith.

When I was going through seminary, I was taught certainty. The tradition that I come from made sure that we all had no doubts about our faith. We learned how to defend the faith, clear our doubts, and move forward with ministry. In my case, that did not work. I had many doubts. I still have many doubts about God, the Holy Spirit, and Jesus. In fact, this past easter season, I wrestled with many questions about my faith. I wanted certainty. Interestingly, the Christian faith, the following of Jesus, entails mystery. There is no way of having certainty about many things, for example, the Trinity.

We have done the impossible to try and create very specific doctrinal tenets around our beliefs. We have the creeds, confessions, and prayers. Even with all that, many of us still doubt about who God is, God’s existence, Jesus, the mystery of the incarnation, and how it is even possible to come up with something like the Trinity. That is why I have learned that when I face mystery, I must stay in silence and let it reveal itself.

The North American poet, e. e. Cummings said: “it is always a beautiful answer who asks a more beautiful question” In the gospel passage of John 3:1-17, we read the story of Nicodemus asking beautiful questions to Jesus. Nicodemus was an important religious leader, and he had a lot of doubts. Some scholars argue that Nicodemus came to Jesus at night because that was the preferred time to engage in theological discussion by the teachers of de law. I would argue that he visited Jesus at night not only because of his preferences. He was also ashamed of his questions and doubts. Can you imagine being a teacher of the law, a theologian, a scholar, and a pastor and have doubts about your faith? That must have been terrifying for Nicodemus.

When Nicodemus asked, “How can someone be born when they are old?” He was asking a beautiful question that was followed by a more beautiful answer from Jesus. To this day, almost two thousand years after the answer, we are still having difficulty interpreting what Jesus meant, just like Nicodemus. Jesus was using an interesting strategy with a master of the law and the prophets by paraphrasing and referencing the words of the prophet Ezekiel. The words in Ezekiel 36 are an invitation to repentance and letting go of idolatry to truly follow God’s decrees, and to let go of humanity’s wicked ways of injustice and oppression.

At this point, I wonder, what does this story have to do with Trinity Sunday? Well, it has more to do with our reactions toward the mystery of our faith than the Trinity itself. Nicodemus wanted certainty. He wanted to have theological assurance. Jesus speaks quite enigmatically, as if wanting to provoke a reaction in Nicodemus. Nicodemus asks questions that are beautiful and seek concrete responses. But the text seems to leave Nicodemus more confused than before his encounter with Jesus.

As we face the mystery of our faith, we can’t do much more than to keep asking questions and awaiting in silence for responses. Some times, we will find answers, and other times we will still face the mystery with no response. Other times, the mystery will reveal itself overtime. Nicodemus may not have gotten it, but the triune God has revealed itself in many different ways. The Father in Jesus, Jesus in the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit in and through us. There is no doubt in my mind that the interaction between Nicodemus and Jesus was part of that revelation.

Now that I look back to my seminary days, I can see that it is doubt what has kept me in the faith. It is through asking beautiful and difficult questions that I have had a few answers. Doubting has given me great anxiety at times, and beautiful moments of revelation and love, for God reveals God’s self and love through the face of the most vulnerable of the world, “for god so loved this world.”

On Trinity Sunday, what should we do when we face this mystery? We should contemplate and be silent. Nicodemus’ story ends in mystery. Jesus questions his understanding in verse 10, and Nicodemus doesn’t respond again. Perhaps, Jesus words left Nicodemus wondering. Maybe, he spent the rest of his days questioning his own understanding. Silence in the face of mystery will help us relax and see that the Trinity is constantly revealing itself in different ways. We have the Father who is for us, the Son who is with us, and the Holy Spirit who unites us all in the never ending dance of love.