Voice

The Conduit of the Soul

The story of creation in Genesis 1 has captivated my imagination for a long time. I remember listening to this story when I was a child. I specifically recall the Vacation Bible School lessons with the flannel graph, the figures on the board, and the teacher putting the little figurines as she read the creation story in Genesis. As a child, I imagined God’s voice as thunderous, loud, almost like an earthquake. I was fascinated with the idea of a voice so powerful that could create light and life from nothing: “And God said: let there be light.” Nowadays, I imagine God’s voice as gentle and soothing.

As a young adult, the idea of finding a voice awoke my desire. I heard friends, mentors, and others say that I needed to find my voice. More often than not, I would imitate their voices instead of trying to find my own. It felt (still feel) like I was in the search of the holy grail. What did it mean to find my voice? How did others find their voice? How would I know that I found it? I did not fully understand what that meant. Heck! I am not sure that I understand what it means to find a voice these days.

What I do know is that our voices can create and destroy.

Some of the voices that spoke into who I am were diminishing, violent, and belittling. Other voices strengthened and empowered me. Interestingly enough, the voices that made the biggest impact were the negative ones. This happened because the voices that needed to build me up as a child did not do it.

Positive, encouraging, and gentle voices can build others. It is a slow process. It is like constructing a tower, a skyscraper, or a bridge. Building takes time, effort, resources, energy, and many other things. Even if there are enough positive voices in the becoming of a life, negative voices are more like a demolition operation. What took a long time to build can be destroyed in a matter of seconds. The right person with a destructive voice can tear down a life instantaneously. However, if the foundational voices are strong, encouraging, and loving, the re-construction of that life is more feasible.

Photo by Stephen Harlan on Unsplash

Through my philosophy classes I learned that language is the house of being. At least, that is what Heidegger argued. Zizek, Butler, and other philosophers have built on that to talk about how hate speech affects the very essence of who people are. They have shown how much damage a destructive voice can do. What I do not recall from my college days is learning about how our voice carries our being, our soul. I did not hear a reflection about what the sound of voice reveals about our humanity. 

I may be overthinking what voice is, but I have a hunch about it. I think that our voice may be what carries the expression of our spirits. In other words, the voice, in whatever language we speak, carries not only the way we feel, but also the essence of who we are. In that sense, the voice becomes the conduit of the soul. It can connect us with the humanity of others and the divine when used with goodness and love. But It can also isolate and hurt those who love us when used with violence.

What brings me to reflect about the sound of my voice is what I have seen and experienced over the last eight years as a dad. I did not pay much attention to what my voice sounded like before I became a father. But, during the first weeks after the arrival of our oldest daughter, my spouse had to keep reminding me that I needed to lower my voice and make it more soothing. I didn’t notice it, but I had developed a harsh voice that could hurt others. Every time I spoke, the baby trembled. If she was asleep, she would twitch with the sound of every utterance that came out of my mouth. As she has grown older, I have seen how the sound of my voice can invite her into a conversation or shut her down. With our three-year-old, I can see the same thing happening. If my voice is inviting, soothing, yet simultaneously firm, she comes closer to me. When I speak to warn her of a danger and raise my voice, the sound of it shakes her enough to stop.

I can see in real time how my voice can build and also hurt my daughters. Whether I am aware of it or not, my voice carries the power to build them up or crush their souls. The sad part is that it doesn’t take much to dent their spirits. The work of strengthening their souls takes much more effort. And, one mistake can crush their little souls and our relationship. Every time our voices hurt someone, they don’t just stop loving us. They also stop loving themselves.

The voice carries how I feel and who I am. These two are intrinsically connected. It also carries the power to build and destroy others. That is why, I am trying really hard to make sure that the sound of my voice is a place of comfort for those who love me and those whom I love. It is not easy. For my daughters, the work that I have ahead is to find a voice that builds them and helps them love themselves in a way that no other voice can crush. I just wish I would have learned about this earlier in my fatherhood journey.